When communicating with birth providers, your birth companion has an important role to play. He or she is well informed about your wishes about the birth, and is a mouthpiece between the birthing partner and the personal.
Clarify your wishes in advance
It is best to clarify already in advance with the accompanying personal, what is desired for the birth. For example: “As natural as possible, as few interventions as necessary.”
Care for good togetherness
The midwives and doctors may be treated with respect and kindness. The tone makes the music. A smile or some nice words sometimes does wonders. It is beneficial for everyone, and especially for the woman giving birth, if there is pleasant interaction and a good atmosphere in the room.
Internalize, “These midwifes/doctors are the best in the world they can be right now.” Believe and trust that everyone has your best interests at heart. In the Birth Flow course we also prepare more intensely for communicating with the personal in a good way and thus dissolve fears.
Ask the right questions
Helpful questioning the birth companion can use, for example, if there is a decision about an intervention to be made:
BENEFITS: What are the advantages?
RISKS: What are the risks?
ALTERNATIVES: What are the alternatives?
INTUITION: What does the intuition of the mother say about this?
NOTHING: What happens if we do nothing? If we wait and see?
Give yourselves time to make decisions
First the birth partner gets all the information before deciding together with the expectant mother whether to agree to an intervention or not. Also, a little time can be asked for, if there are no health reasons for not doing so: “We would like to have half an hour just for us before we decide.”
Best hardly any conversations or questions to the mom
If possible, the mom should be kept away from conversations and especially from questions. This allows her to remain in her deeply relaxed, highly concentrated state, where she can devote herself completely to her bodywork, staying connected to it and to her baby. This trance-like state, which every mammal naturally enters during childbirth, is important, and ensures that the woman can give birth as safely and gently as possible. The Birth Flow course teaches how the woman gets into this state.
Alternatives to questions
Instead of asking, it would also be helpful for the midwife to say, for example, “I would like to feel your cervix for a moment. Give me a sign when you’re ready.” This way, the birthing woman doesn’t have to think much or answer, but just make her presence known briefly. Or the birth companion could say: “Here is some water. If you like, drink a little”, instead of asking her if she wants to drink. Little things make a big difference. 
Do you have more questions about birth preparation? Would you like to prepare for the birth in a positive way? To make your birth as pleasant as possible? Then feel free to contact me here.
I am looking forward to meeting you! 
Love,
Dora 
1Agatha Deau
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